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Name: Axel
Location: New York City, New York, United States
Birthday: 5/12/1989


Interests: I love chillin with my homiez, playing handball/tennis. I have an interest in psychology which has been growing for a while now. I also am a gaming fanatic, the only problem is only crappy games have been coming out sooo i play old school games mostly (Final Fantasy 7-9, Metal Gear Solid 1-3, Counter Strike). Last but not least I love Cowboy Bebop, Bebop > all other anime, havent seen any other anime that really topped it -shrug- . OOOO and I love rap music (mostly not the mainstream bs, Common, Talib Kweli, Mos Def, Black Star, Atmosphere, The Roots, Zion I), some punk rock too but that's it.
Expertise: Iono I really dont have one except for being overly expressive at times? xD. I'm pretty good with helping people with problems and what not? lol


Message: message me
AIM: wh33landaxel


Member Since: 10/21/2004

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Monday, September 11, 2006

Atonement

It's been a long time since i wrote my last real post and it's been a REAL long ass time since I posted a real poem online,  since like "Memory" back in January. So I felt like surprising y'all with this one especially to those who think i fell off poetry since I broke up with Kim, but I havent stopped in fact I've been writing ever since and it has actually been pretty fun. So enjoy! =D

                        A Day To Remember


The deepest songs come from the soul,
But this song comes from the world as a whole,
Everyone remembers what they did that day,
That morning I was in my school the 1-5-8,
Waiting for the time to pass,
Who knew that day the dark spell would be cast,
Upon America
to rip up her own character,
To make us run our tears,
To instill us in fear,
To let us know that we aren’t alone,
When I first heard the news I was shook up in the dome,
Why is everyone going home,
What does this have to do with school and me,
All I heard was a plane crashed into the W-T-C,
I keep on asking questions but no one answered me,
So what is a man supposed to do but wait and see,
The truth, how it’s supposed to be
 
9/11 the truth better
seen not heard,
A billion words can’t
describe this day,
The game of terrorism
was played,
And this what I got to
say,
My experience every
step of the way
 
The deepest songs come from loss,
And the constant struggle to see whose boss,
The blood that is cost through high altitudes of violence,
When I got home I saw the science of hate,
The attack that made our nation deviate our own policies,
Our current philosophies and changed certain truth to
hypocrisy,
I saw the towers come down with the gravity and the tragedy
of thousands gone,
All on my TV set,
Can we comprehend this massacre? Not just yet,
But you can bet we were angry and just aching for revenge,
It seemed like we transcended through years of peace to come
only to come to this burning debris in the heart of NYC,
We couldn’t let it be this way,
Five years ago our hearts were engraved with the date signed
“9/11”,
We prayed the lost souls rest in peace and find their way to
heaven
 9/11 the truth better
seen not heard,
A billion words can’t
describe this day,
The game of terrorism
was played
And this what I got to
say,
My experience every
step of the way
 
The deepest songs come from triumph,
After it all, we showed that we had enough with this terrorist bullshit,
And that if you fuck with America
it’s a force to be reckoned with,
We turned the tables on these cowards,
They blow up our buildings we blow up their country that’s
our power,
They destroyed the towers but they didn’t kill our spirit,
In fact it united everyone here,
We couldn’t live in fear and we couldn’t shed another tear,
We persevered and ended a whole bunch of Al-Quaida careers,
So here lies my blessing to all of you,
Just trying to say that I care too,
Trust me we gave em hell,
Sincerely yours, A-X-E-L


Sunday, September 10, 2006

26 Hours

THIS IS WILL'S WORDS not mine, so thank him not me, he beat me to an entry =[ so now i'm too lazy to write my own, it's practically the same thing so it dont matter....

THE most crazy 26 hours ever By Will.P,  BpRLuva whatever u call him, props

I probably never stayed up for so long and had so much fun thank you Will Sam and Mal we indeed own


SATURDAY 8:30 PM

I get out of work and i call up axel. So me and axel decide to take the bus to vickie's house. There we met up with mal val other val and samantha. We ate and poured water all over eachother.

Sunday 1:00 AM

We all decide.... hey lets pull an all nighter all over glen oaks and shit. I told my mother i was at my dads and my dad i was at my moms. Axel said he was at my moms. Samantha said she was at vickies. Vickie said what ever she did. Val and Val went home. And mal was just like... "im chillin in glen oaks" But vickie's dad was all like "you are not leaving here untill i see you get picked up. We all start flippin a nut and start calling everyone we know. I had princess number and ended up calling julie [floral park]. That was weird. I called melissa star, i called mena, i even called odessa my x manager. I called tara my x co-worker and jessica, another x coworker.
Sunday 1:15 AM

We decide no1 is gunnu pick us up and we even tried a cab. So we just left vickie =[. That left axel mal sam and I. The first thing we do is go to TACO BELL.
Now we all know Taco bell is "open till midnight or later" right? WRONG! thats only the drive through. So we decide to wait inline at the drive through with the cars. Unfortunetly the bitch was all like "you need a car!" and wouldnt serve us. I told them "It's okay... TACO BELL RUINS YOUR LIVER" lol.

Sunday 1:30 AM

We get hungy and stop into a 24 hour Eckerds. Axel and I get chef-boy-R-de's and eat them out of the can. The guy was mad nice and gave us spoons and offered to microwave it for us. That eckerds is nice.

Sunday 1:45 AM

Passing the Eckerds with food in hand we see a crapped-up-fucked-up-beat-up-hummer. It looked like it was burnt from the inside out. It was CRAZY! Axel and i took pics in the hummer. It was terrefying to look over your shoulder and see ash and rubbel of what used to be luxury. It was nerve racking.

Sunday 1:50 AM

Because the burnt hummer was such a bumber. We all decided to walk towards the park. On the way there we took more pictures and pretended to be mortal combat people. This is the result of processed foods, 4 sr.s in highschool, and a cracked out early mornin. Then we walked over to the park. We saw some shaddy people there and decided maybe not.

Sunday 1:55 AM
A block after the Hummer is a place called "SUSHI ROCK"or some shit like that. Its a totaly asian bar. We all walk in... walk right up stairs and chill. Then we come down stairs and their blastin some ghetto rap shit with crazy lights... We start dancing and the DJ cuts the music off and waits for us to leave. That was embarrassing.


Sunday 2:00 AM

On Northern Blvd and Francis Lewis Blvd we were all sitting by fantana's... a gyro resturant that was closed. Suddenly i hear crazy banging on the window. It was from accross the street though. I run there and Axel Mal and Sam follow shortly after wondering why I'm running at all. As it turns out 2 guys were beating the shit out of eachother. One guy had a bat! The doors opened and they came toppling down the steps with each-others-hands-at-each-others-necks. It was nuts. One guy was bloody, no shirt, and bleeding from the neck. I called the cops and 3 cop cars and an ambulance show up. The cop says "okay who wants to go to jail tonight" They got it under control. But whats worse is.... there wasnt an arrest made. If you write on a wall which will be torn down in a week you go to jail. But if you beat the shit out of someone in a family resturant ... with a weapon... no one gets sent to the bookings? but it was crazy none the less.

Sunday 2:45 AM

The situation died down and we walked down francis lewis. There we saw a sign that was hanging from those "im selling my house" signs on the front lawn that said "SOLD!" We took it. It is currently added to the collection of signs in my room. We stop by a 711 and i found out something interesting. 711 now serves wine. Can you just imagine: " Hey honey... it's our 2 year aniversery.... and we have a 9 year old kid. To celebrate i got us some fancy crap from 711. It was a whole 8.99 so you know its good" lol. Anyway we walk to the walbaums on francis lewis and horace harding. There we took the shopping cards and were racing around. Then i got the idea to link the shopping cards together. We had a little roller coaster and axel was pushing us all. I started pushing and samantha almost got knocked out of her cart. But as we were ridding... a mad trucker comes speeding into the parkinglot. We flip a nut and ran for our lifes. After that we realized... "WERE THE COOLEST KIDS IN QUEENS"

Sunday 3:00 AM

A little note to all children of the night.... The street of horace harding that goes under the clearview expressway right by st. francis prep IS FUCKING SCARY at 2.30 am! We walked there next to the highway and were shitting bricks. We saw spiders bigger than samantha [not hard to beat] But one time samantha and mallory scream and then me and axel start screaming....because they were screaming. Needless to say we were shitting bricks.

Sunday 3:30 AM

We make it out of the woods alive and kiss the ground. A couple blocks from where we got off we see a gas station with a dunkin donuts so of course we had to go there. So we all get food and shit and when mallory went back in to get something... axel hides. When mallory comes back me and samantha tell mal that axel's in the bathroom. 5 min latter axel carreses her shoulder and goes nuts. Lol.

Sunday 4:15 AM

After we all left the gas station we found our selfs on springfield blvd and figured we would take it up towards union. But i had to visit a special friend of mine. I called raina and gave her the excusse that im using google earth and its a live feet and i can ur house. Come out side i can tell u what ur wearing. She came out and saw us and flipped out. She wasnt verry pleased that we woke her up for something like that lol. See... i care about my friends.

Sunday 4:30 AM

The matress: We were all tired because by now we walked about 5 miles and its crazy late. We found a matress that looks like it was gunnu be thrown out but was in fine condition. We all chilled there and set our alarmclocks for an hour. Apparently 4 friends on one bed at 4:30 am does two things: Creats alot of noise and Attracts people to call security. After we all just got comfortable... (which is about 20 minuets after first sitting down) we look up and see the yellow security lights. We played it mad cool said were leaving and put the matress back up.


Sunday 5:00 AM

Me and Axel come back, and bring the matress into the baseball field at alley pond park. We saw the stars and it wa amazing...those beautiful lights... those beautiful lights... THOSE SECURITY LIGHTS! FUCK! apparently he noticed us so we all ducked and covered and he got outa the car and we walked through the woods trying to ditch him. We end up finding the parking lot and sitting there was one, off, suspicious car. as we walk passed it, it turns on and drives off. Then the security guys come.... as they go in we go out and run down a random block. At the end of that block we turn and see the security guy so we go into another random block, and he passed us. We never saw him again.

Sunday 6:00 AM

Mallory was the lovely spotter of the security guy's second comming. She went to take a wicked hardcore piss and as soon as she was gunnu start she saw them. So now she's about to explode... we make it to springfield and union. We go into a clossed gasstation [we made him open up] and she pissed like a wild woman. Then we just walked and walked and walked down union.

Sunday 7:15 AM
Behold.... after 7 miles...9 hours... a rent-a-cop... a matress... shopping carts and more... we made it to our prommised land. Dunkin Donuts. We got kicked out because all we did was fall asleep there. We went to the mcdonalds and slept there. Axel was spazzing out. But while in DnD we drew "SLUT 4 U" on samantha's hand... put a paper bag on her head with some not so nice messages and covered her in napkins. We then called her so she would mess everything up lol.


Sunday 7:45 AM

Infront of Eckerds... that big blotch of empytness.... mallory axel and i passed out. Samantha got picked up. We stayed there a good 2 hours. No one bothered us... they figures were either high or crazy.... they were right that we were crazy. but high? high on life [oh what a cliche']

Sunday 10:00 AM

We see vickie again. She came by bus and we all just chilled. We walked back into DnD and i personaly got thrown out of there for sleeping again. So we called mallorys mom to yell at them... we got our way. But we chilled at mcdonalds where i slept again. I started to loose track of time.

Sunday 12:00 PM
TACO KING! I sat infront of taco king and waited for it to be open. The lady that knows me noticed me and was glad i was there. She made my order asap lol. Then we walked over to chinese food where i passed out. While passed out vickie and mallory got me a bonner by touching me. i was so passed out i didnt notice. It was embarresing having to leave with a boner like that lols.

Sunday 3:00 PM

After some time passed we chilled on union then went to a park. There we just chilled, we were shooting the breeze... we reminissed about what just happened....we bragged and talked and played. Just like every 17 year old should do right? It was crazy.

Sunday 4:30 PM
Vickie's dad picked me and axel up and now im home.

OOh what a 26 hour day we had.


Sunday, August 13, 2006

Love Axually Pt. 2 (Love Is..)

   
"I know imma find love again someday who knows when, it's all good though, I got my friends fo sho....." -"Love Axually"

 
      I could say right here that I haven't thought of or cared about love ever since I lost it, but instead of being a tough guy I guess I'll give y'all the real stuff. I have been thinking about it, a lot actually. There are just things in my life that are a step above it, like establishing my own identity and being able to find what truely matters to me. In the past love played a major role in a lot of things. Things like security, decisions, emotion, and inner strength. But most of all it really affected my state of mind, like what's wrong and right at times depended on my girl's beliefs, really sometimes it came down to that. Like some of the things I believed was right wasnt accepted, some of the things she'd do I wouldnt accept.

     My recession from love has to do with the fact that I have to really learn how to establish who I am before I just jump into something I dont want to. I mean it has  to get deeper than bullshit like "ooohhh you like video games, me too" it has to do with what you believe is wrong and right it has to do with the balance of you and your bf/gfs thoughts. In fact I believe it has almost nothing to do with similar interests, it can happen, you can have completely different interests yet still connect on the same level because you got the same opinions.

       When you agree and accept your bf/gfs beliefs that's where the true beauty comes in, that's when you can say you're truely in love. And I definitely haven't found that yet. I have found people in my life that could be potentials but we'll have to see about those girls as life writes its pages. I mean I love your smile I like how your eyes look, your hair is so pretty... you're beautiful, but who are you really?


Tuesday, August 08, 2006

                Alcoholism, let me see, it's something I loathe, and want to keep out of my life, so as smokinggg, druuuuugs, or any other type of chemical brain killing piece of garbage out there. I see too many of our own getting induced to resorting to these things. It's kind of sad that we take the messages our own community sends out to us and 25% of us just ignore it like these warnings are sugarcoated. I hope that we can reduce these numbers, I hope we are reducing these numbers. I know some of y'all say you act before you think but there is always a motive behind any action so dont try and fool me.

            So what can that motive be? What is it that drives people to go for alcohol and drugs why? Plenty of fucked up shit happens to everyone including me, plenty of people that want to influence me but I dont let them. My family got a bad background with it and I'm not attached to it. I'm never going to be attached to it. I choose reality over a bottle, please... I mean wow damn, all your idiot buddies are doing it why shouldnt you?  It's because you and everyone else got a soul that has some special glitter to it, but glitter doesnt shine when dirt is thrown on it. That's all...

         As a sidenote I'll admit I was a bit nervous about writing this entry. I dont want to make anyone feel like a real glutton for drinking or anything. It's your choice whether you want to or not, I can't change anyone here, I can only influence people. But w/e it's my entry, my opinions, so I refuse to regret this entry..

+Elevation


Thursday, July 20, 2006

Currently Listening
Stadium Arcadium
By Red Hot Chili Peppers
Slow Cheetah
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Assume Your Position

                  There are times when I question my own abilitys, times when I doubt myself. Sometimes my mind gets the best of me and it pisses me off. I think way too much about the past and it doesnt really help me, I've decided right here and now... It's done, I'm not gonna be the same dude you used to know, no, I'm gonna be someone focused on my goals and the future. I'm tired of people calling me shy when I'm really not most of the time. Why don't you take a step into my life for a second and witness neutrality at it's best, I've given anyone I possibly could a chance to get into my life. Dont expect me to be infatuated with anyone, believe me those days are long over.

    The people I communicate the most with and share the best bonds with are the ones who give and take, the ones who arent afraid to tell the truth, y'all know who you are and it aint many. I love them to death more than any girl I had. They didnt tease me at all, they were all real beginning to the end. I feel like I've been given a lot of effort to prove I'm trustable to many people but sometimes I think that they just dont believe I'm worthy. Well that's where I run away forever and that's where you call me shy, because I dont want to be your social slave. Perhaps there are a few that deserve a second chance from me but one of the hardest things to do in life is to forgive and forget who I think you are. They say don't assume because it makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me" but I feel like plenty of people assume I'm a fool and that I'm weak on the inside. But I'm gonna show all of you I promise, everything will be changing this year and I'm gonna change all your assumptions.

+Done



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